Unfortunately, Plush, life isn't fair. You can only do what you think is best, have confidence in your decisions and hope that things turn out the way you'd like them to. When they don't, you cannot allow yourself to get mired down in "why," or feeling sorry for yourself - you have to look ahead to your next steps.

Hey Plush, your a fighter girl, so even though you might not feel as though you are winning, you are probably doing your best at what you do best, so stick with it girl, it will all be good in the end one way or another.

Da Po po wrote:

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Wow... sounds like you ARE having a bad day. Keep your chin up old chap! The Mets have extended the NLCS to game 7 so all of us fans will have plenty of opportunity to see them play before they clobber the Tigers in the World Series. Life isn't so bad as long as you don't take it too seriously. Go grab a beer, get laid, get a good night's rest, and know that tomorrow is a new day. Whatever you are upset about is totally in your control to fix, whether it be a crappy job or relationship, to raging hemorrihoids. Here's a little pic to brighten your day:



Unless you're a chick, I guess, but hell, it made me smile!!!

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I am a chick, and you have no idea how much i enjoyed that.

Plush.....you know me; I cant offer too much advice that will make any sense to you, but I can pray for you......no strings attached.

Just feel better and know you have friends who want you to feel better.

Plush wrote:

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Well, I am just so fucking lost and the thoughts in my head are not good ones. I do not know where they are coming from, but they are there. I can't handle this ball in the pit of my stomach. It is like it is eating me from the inside out. I just think i hit my breaking point and the outcome will be good for no one. He wont eeven talk to me. How can i be that bad of a person?

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Maybe he is the that bad of a person. Surround yourself with good people..not those that will see your vulnerablilities and attack you while you are down. That can only hurt and confuse you. A real friend will help you and not play with your heart (or anything else)

I know I sound like a broken record, but have you tried praying a bit? Nothing manufactured from a book, but just something from your heart......no candles, no books,no chanting in the background...just open your heart and talk to someone who will always listen and will always be there; if you allow Him to be. I dont know what you believe, but He listens anyway...even if you dont believe.

 Then again, you always have me, too!

Well i just found out he ran half way across the US to get away from me, I can handle no more.

He went across the country to get away from you?? This will sound harsh Plush, but you know that what I am about to say is not meant to be mean or hurtful, and as you know from our conversations away from the forum I am not going to treat you with kid gloves. Having said that, the world doesn't revolve around you. Things don't happen because of you. He moved across the country because it suited him to do so. His world does not revolve around you, and his choices have nothing to do with you, other than the fact that he must not think there's anything of value left for him to take from you. He made his choices because he's a selfish, worthless coward who probably doesn't even think of you as anything other than a sperm depository and a "hmm, what does she have that I can steal" at this point....and he has suffered no consequences for his past behavior. What motivation does he have to change? He's gotten what he can get from you, so he doesn't need you anymore. That's it. It's not like he loves you or cares about you or your kids.

You've been through this enough times with him, you know the drill by now. You've done all that you can to try and help him, but the bottom line is that he doesn't want help and he doesn't want you. Stop being afraid of being on your own, or that you won't find another man. Push aside your pining for someone who treats you like crap and constantly hammers away at your self esteem and devalues your self respect. You have resources, you're not stupid, but you need to quit acting like you're in the middle of a Lifetime movie and start being responsible for yourself, whatever it takes to do so. Stop waiting for other people to take care of you. You don't have the luxury of wallowing in self pity right now. I know that you love your kids and will do your best for them. They've already been screwed over by one parent, they don't deserve to have you focus your attention on anything but them. I know you're strong, you keep saying that you're strong.....so act like it.

I understand that you wanted to give him chances, I am the first one to offer chances to someone and give them the benefit of the doubt long after they deserve it sometimes, Plush, but even I have my limits. Don't become a statistic - get yourself together and handle your business.

Think about what I asked you one day not long ago...if you were watching this in a movie, what would you be thinking?


-- Edited by Buttercup at 10:10, 2006-10-20

You can love someone and yet break away from them because you hate the things that they do. Love is not enough, Plush. Don't let him have this power over you because he will continue to destroy you, and your children will be left with nothing and no one. Is that what you want? Walk away. I realize that it's easier said than done, but you have to think of your children first. How many times do you have to go through this for it to sink in? What is it going to take? You can't keep saying "but I love him," or "he's going to change," or "he promised," "or "poor me." Are you listening to yourself?

Plush, you are right, the worst has passed. What is left is the reality of it and that is what is smacking you in the face day after day. You are still so busy being in denial that you won't see it. You know it, but refuse out of pure routine. You are used to things (bad or not) being the way they were and now that there is change you feel overwhelmed.

Plush, no one likes to openly admit their mistakes. But if you want to survive this, you have to see this for what it was and is right now. I hate change as much as anyone, but it is unavoidable and has purpose. The purpose may seem crappy right now, but it will get better. You are a strong person, you've just been weakened by the blows to your heart. The heart will heal, you will heal, don't let him take what makes you who you really are with him. Don't rob your kids from really knowing who YOU are. He did not make you who you are, he was mearly a part.....stand up, brush yourself off, and move forward for your sake as well as your kids!

I'm here for yah anytime.....anything I can do, you know I will.

In other words. Suck it up and move on................................................................................................................ Yeah, that is the part that's gettin me.

foxfyre wrote:

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ejay wrote:

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Does anyone else think that this looks like fun?

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 USa...

 

Plush honey...just hang in there......Kat, Butter and Bread were on target.

Nope, not Karma...just life in the real world.....if it didn't suck so bad sometimes, we would never truly appreciate it when it is good!

Chin up dear....it will heal.....((((hugs))))

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

 

love hurts, love makes you cry,

but in time its better  to have loved and grown then not to have.