Nothing pisses me off more that someone that is trying to lay a guilt trip in your lap...
I am now awake at 2:30 am because I am in the middle of a guilt trip battle given to me by My Sister-in-Law and my Mom....
Short story....
I paid for and planed to attend a "Women's Conference" at my church in April...it is this weekend...I was looking forwarded to it...I happen to mention to my sister-in-law once when Dad got so bad that I hoped that it would not be a conflict...
Now....it is....Dad passed away and the visitation and Memorial is this weekend...in conflict with the conference....My sister-in-law thinks I should be able to do both....
My Mom expects me to do one or the other....
My SO expects to see me after traveling over 1000 miles to support me as I grieve for my Father....
My paster(s) have expressed their sympathy and sorry but they cannot attend the Memorial and as far as I know...no one from my church will be attending....at this point maybe not even my sister-in-law...She said..."I am letting he Devil win"
I am expected to understand and respect that they have responsibilities and cannot be at both...but my sister-in-law expects me to be at both....
I would love nothing more than that My Father had not died at this time so that I could have attended and felt comfortable and been able to focus on what God has for me at this conference...but my mind, even at church tonight, was all over...on things I needed to do to prepare for my Dad's Memorial....
She wants me to get up go to he conference at 9:00am until 1:00 pm .... drive half an hour to pick up my SO and son and drive another hour north to the Memorial service..in which I have to be there at 2:30 pm attend the Memorial service...and the meal afterwords .... take my SO and son home and drive back to the Conference at 7 pm to 9 pm .Then go the hotel for the night and back to he conference the next morning 9am to 1pm ... and be able to focus on What God has for me....After my SO will have drove over 1000 miles to see me and be with me...and support me...
I ask you....What do you see wrong with this picture???
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"Fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out" Romans 12, verse 2
If it were me, I would give my father's funeral services first priority, to the exclusion of any other scheduled events if need be, but that's me. What's right for me is not necessarily right for everyone else. There will be other women's conferences, but I think I'd eventually regret not giving my dad first priority.
The bottom line though, is that you have do what YOU will be comfortable doing, and what will give YOU peace when you reflect on it later. Not what your sister-in-law, your mother, or your church members and other friends think you should do. My guess is that your SO will be supportive in whatever you decide. Don't allow anyone to make you feel guilty about your decisions.
-- Edited by Buttercup at 11:07, 2006-07-20
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oh yes, you must always satisfy the monkey. Strong and Beautiful smells like a monkey
I agree with BC. This only happens once, and there will be another conferance. It is your life IO, is this desicion going to affect you later? I do not know the mother/father relationship you had, but when my dad dies, I will be there hell or high water to pay him his due respect for giving me life.
My dad died last year and it was hard, but giving him the first mark, to say good bye and all- that is whats with me. There will be another conferance and one that you will be able to focus more on. even if you did both, or just the confrence you wouldnt hold on to anything.. your mind will play with it.
and SU needs to support you at this time. and not hold you to the ends of the earth for a return right now.
my stray told me...let me know if you need anything, but you have your mom. He is sstill by my side-
oh yes, you must always satisfy the monkey. 
