There was a lady who was in bed with her lover one day,
when she hears a noise and realizes that her husband is home
early from work. She has no idea what to do with her lover so she
sticks him in the closet and successfully covers up every
part of his body except his balls. Thinking quick, she paints
his balls red with some spray paint.

Her husband comes up to the bedroom and opens the closet
doors to get out some clothes and notices the red balls hanging
there. "What are these?" he asks.

"Oh, those are just some Christmas Bells I picked up on
sale this afternoon," she answers.

He toys with them for a second and realizes that they are
not making noise, so he pulls them apart and clangs them
together, but all he hears is "uuuggghhh."

He says, "Honey, these things aren't working right, let me
try again. So he pulls them farther apart and bangs them
together. Still the only noise made is "UUUGGGHHH."

He is beginning to get a little annoyed and he says, "I am
gonna try once more and if these things do not chime, I am
gonna throw them in the fireplace and burn them. So he
stretches them as far apart as he can and slams them
together. At that moment the guys sticks his head out of
the closet and screams,

"DING DONG, MOTHERFUCKER! DING DONG!"