REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, March 1, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays---Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor Pictures and Explanatory Graphics Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5 After Dinner Dishes - Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6 Loss Of Identity Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other Help Line Support and Support Groups Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7 Learning How To Find Things - Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8 Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health Graphics and Audio Tapes Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost Real Life Testimonials Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11 Learning to Live Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14 The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be dete! rmined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
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oh yes, you must always satisfy the monkey. Strong and Beautiful smells like a monkey