I wish...with a twist!

proudcowife · T.O.P. PIMP

RE: I wish...with a twist!

KatScratch · Bad kitty....in the best possible way

proudcowife wrote:

I wish to have an exotic massage right now

granted....2 men show up with oils and cented candles. They lay you on the table and give you the massage you have dreamed of! Too bad they were covered in worts and had no front teeth!

I wish I would win the mega bucks lottory.

proudcowife · T.O.P. PIMP

KatScratch wrote:

proudcowife wrote: I wish to have an exotic massage right now granted....2 men show up with oils and cented candles. They lay you on the table and give you the massage you have dreamed of! Too bad they were covered in worts and had no front teeth! I wish I would win the mega bucks lottory.

thats just wrong on so many levels

Wish granted you do win th elottery but the IRS takes all your money and you get none.

I wish to go on a cruise with the members of this board( boy would we cause some trouble)

KatScratch · Bad kitty....in the best possible way

proudcowife wrote:

thats just wrong on so many levels Wish granted you do win th elottery but the IRS takes all your money and you get none. I wish to go on a cruise with the members of this board( boy would we cause some trouble)

wish granted, everyone gets free tickets for a week cruise. It's fun in the sun and party central,cept in your room the fauset leaks and dripps loudly all night (since I don't get to go cause I hate water)

I wish for a plane ticket instead....

Buttercup · Monkey Proof is Beautiful yet hideous

Wish granted...but you're in the center seat, sandwiched between two snoring sumo wrestlers on a cross country red-eye flight.

I wish for fresh flowers delivered to me every day.

Straight Up · Beer please

Granted.....but you have to use MP's butt crack for a vase...

I wish I had a beer

proudcowife · T.O.P. PIMP

Straight Up wrote:

... I wish I had a beer

Wish granted only that beer gives you explosive diarrhea...

I wish for a big batch of warm homemade cookies.

Buttercup · Monkey Proof is Beautiful yet hideous

proudcowife wrote:

I wish for a big batch of warm homemade cookies.

Wish granted, but you find a live bug inside the third one you eat.

I wish for a nice big dirty martini.

proudcowife · T.O.P. PIMP

Buttercup wrote:

I wish for a nice big dirty martini.

Wish granted but it is a really dirty martini it was made with G;s Jock strap...

I wish for a naked hot house keeper.

KatScratch · Bad kitty....in the best possible way

proudcowife wrote:

I wish for a naked hot house keeper.

wish granted....you have a naked 400 pound, sweaty house keeper!

I wish the vending machine here had beer in it.

proudcowife · T.O.P. PIMP

KatScratch wrote:

I wish the vending machine here had beer in it.

wish granted only you cant get the beer out .

I wish for a banana split mmmmmmmmmm

KatScratch · Bad kitty....in the best possible way

proudcowife wrote:

I wish for a banana split mmmmmmmmmm

granted, too bad it's made out of wax...LOL

I wish I had the key to the vending machine so I could get the beer!

proudcowife · T.O.P. PIMP

KatScratch wrote:

I wish I had the key to the vending machine so I could get the beer!

Wish granted but you open it and there are just empty beer cans there. lol

I wish for a dirt bike thats hot pink and black

KatScratch · Bad kitty....in the best possible way

proudcowife wrote:

KatScratch wrote: I wish I had the key to the vending machine so I could get the beer! Wish granted but you open it and there are just empty beer cans there. lol I wish for a dirt bike thats hot pink and black

that's just mean....lol

wish granted. They deliver your hot pink and black dirt bike but it doesn't have an engine (sound familiar???? LOL)

I wish I had a large pizza with everything on it!

CTR man · Sweetypeach

One large garbage pizza coming right up but you have to share it with every one here.

I wish that Toby would post on this sub-forum.

Buttercup · Monkey Proof is Beautiful yet hideous

CTR man wrote:

I wish that Toby would post on this sub-forum.

Wish granted, but it's actually KatScratch masquerading as Toby.

I wish for someone to tuck me into bed and sing me to sleep.

Inside Out · BITCH

Wish granted ...MP sings you a monkey song and puts you fast to sleep

I wish for a large chocolate cheese cake with chocolate sprinkles..

KatScratch · Bad kitty....in the best possible way

Inside Out wrote:

I wish for a large chocolate cheese cake with chocolate sprinkles..

Wish granted...but the "sprinkles" aren't really sprinkles after all (dam mice in the bakery!)

I wish for slef cleaning clothes so I wouldn't have to do anymore laundry!

Buttercup · Monkey Proof is Beautiful yet hideous

KatScratch wrote:

I wish for slef cleaning clothes so I wouldn't have to do anymore laundry!

Wish granted, but the self cleaning stuff smells like old cheese.

I wish for a hot fudge sundae with coffee ice cream, bananas, and whipped cream.

SWATcop · Stinky

CTR man wrote:

proudcowife wrote: I wish to be held and cuddled by my hubby tonight You are going to kill me but you left yourself wide open and I couldn't resist. Granted but when you wake from dreamland you discover Toby next to you and wonder just who exactly were you with last night. I wish that I never had to go to work again.

OK, "bang!" You're dead. No work for you tomorrow.

I wish Shania Twain would have wild sex with me.

KatScratch · Bad kitty....in the best possible way

Buttercup wrote:

I wish for a hot fudge sundae with coffee ice cream, bananas, and whipped cream.

wish granted. A huge hot fudge sunday, cept the hot fudge is really exlax and you get the "screamers' after eating it!

And SwatCop: I wish Shania Twain would have wild sex with me.

Granted but afterward you find out it was a female inpersonator named Bubba!

I wish it would stop snowing already!

SWATcop · Stinky

Wish granted. It got colder - it stopped snowing and everything turned to ice.

I wish Jennifer Love Hewitt would sit on my face.

KatScratch · Bad kitty....in the best possible way

SWATcop wrote:

Wish granted. It got colder - it stopped snowing and everything turned to ice. I wish Jennifer Love Hewitt would sit on my face.

Wish granted.....but it was her time of the month

I wish Vin Deisel would do a strip tease for my birthday

SWATcop · Stinky

Wish granted. But you find out that steroids left him as useless as tits on a bull.

I wish that we had more cool weather in Florida

KatScratch · Bad kitty....in the best possible way

SWATcop wrote:

Wish granted. But you find out that steroids left him as useless as tits on a bull. I wish that we had more cool weather in Florida

poor Vin...

Wish granted. A cool breeze rolls into Florida.....followed by another hurricane....

I wish a snow plow would actually come down my road.

slopegrrrl · Who me?

KatScratch wrote:

I wish a snow plow would actually come down my road.

Wish granted....unfortunately because it took so long, the snow built up and he plowed your driveway under 4' of snow and took out your mailbox.

I wish for an awesome deal on the Para Ordnance Warthog I'm looking for tomorrow at the gun show.

KatScratch · Bad kitty....in the best possible way

Wish granted. But once you get it home, you later find out it was stolen and you have to give it back......

I wish guys really had a clue about a woman's emotions!

SWATcop · Stinky

KatScratch wrote:

I wish guys really had a clue about a woman's emotions!

Wish granted - we DO have a clue. The reality is that we just don't give a fuck.

I wish I could be woken up every morning by Heather Locklear giving me head rather than my alarm clock.

KatScratch · Bad kitty....in the best possible way

SWATcop wrote:

I wish I could be woken up every morning by Heather Locklear giving me head rather than my alarm clock.

wish granted, every morning a female impersonator who looks like Heather shows up to wake you up.....

I wish it was legal to tatoo "I am stupid" accross other people's heads as a preventative measure

zap · texaschickeee translator

Wish granted....however YOU are not immune either

I wish we could have a system like Gallager once suggested...... when you get your driver's license you get a rubber stickem dart gun...when in traffic, and you see someone doing something stupid.... you just hang out the window and shoot them in the trunk. The dart would stick there with a little flag that says STUPID on it. Then, when a cop sees a car with a dozen of those on the back...they just pull them over and give em a ticket for being an asshole!