Men And Automobiles

Man is like an automobile. As it gets older, the differential starts
slipping, and the U-joints get worn, causing the drive shaft to go bad. The
transmission won't go into high gear and sometimes has difficulty getting out of
low. The cylinders get worn and lose compression, making it hard to climb the
slightest incline.
When it is climbing, the tappets clatter and ping to the point where one
wonders if the old bus will make it to the top. The carburetor gets fouled with
pollutants and other matter, making it hard to get started in the morning.
It is hard to keep the radiator filled because of the leaking hose. The
thermostat goes out, making it difficult to reach operating temperature. The
headlights grow dim, and the battery need constant recharging.
But if the body looks good, we can keep it washed and polished, giving the
impression it can compete with newer models and make one more trip down the
primrose lane before the head gasket blows. Gentlemen, start your engines.

Man is the king of his castle
A king is a ruler
A ruler is 12 inches
Still think you're a man?

A man came home a day early from a business trip and discovered his wife in
the midst of passionate lovemaking with a total stranger in their bedroom. He
demandingly asked, "What on earth are you doing?!?!!"
The wife turned to the other man and replied, "See, I told you he was a dumb
as a post."

God created Adam and informed him that he had given him a brain and a penis.
The brain was a good gift as it allowed him to do many things. The penis was
also a good thing as it allowed the race to continue. The problem was that God
had only given Adam enough of a blood supply so that he could only use one of
them at a time.
Men are naturally competitive. Even in the Garden of Eden, Adam was afraid
Eve would like the snake's fruit better than his.

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before you create a masterpiece.

Man says to God, "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says, "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you."