(got this in my email and thought it was funny)

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car
videos around the country.

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate
a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't
know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I
can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through TCIC/NCIC.."

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And.................... THE BEST ONE!

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here.