*My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spentour wedding night, only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.*
*She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.*
*I was just in London - there is a 6-hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.*
*The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.*
*The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"*
*Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I AM 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"*
*A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor answers "That's what puzzles me!"*
*A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been broughthere fo r drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."*
*A bum asked a Jewish fellow, "Give me $10 till payday." The Jewish fellow responded, "When's payday?" The bum said, "I don't know! You're the one that's working!"*
*Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.*
*Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.*
*I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.*
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A monday morning lunatic disturbed from time to time...
