Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can’t find your birth control pills.
UGLY: Your daughter has them.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
UGLY: You’re in them.

Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He’s a crossdresser.
UGLY: He looks better than you.

Good: Your son’s finally maturing.
Bad: He’s involved with the woman next door.
UGLY: So are you.

Good: You give the birds and bees speech to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
UGLY: With corrections.

Good: Your wife’s not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
UGLY: She’s a lawyer.

Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: The postman had the same idea.
UGLY: You have to wait.